Thursday, July 15, 2010

NO TITLE {{(you may notice later on that many things i write dont have titles lol)}}

Things get thought about way too much as I lay my head on the armrest and think of how I want my life to be/ never actually doin the things because the past obviously has some kinda of vicious hold that constantly reminds me of past things/ the way this happened and the way that never did/ how I love too much and fall too hard and the feelin is never seen in the reflection of the one whos affection im after/ never there, never seein that sparkle and twinkle/ don’t really know whats goin on there, don’t know what all this heartache and pain I casue myself on a daily basis means/ yeah you don’t see it cuz I cover it up o so well, if I do say so myself/ cuz I’ve mastered this, im pretty good at it/ so many methods are used to hide the pain and the salty tears that wanna run down my cheeks, gallons at a time and cause an overflow and kill every single emotion in the room!/never really understood the faults that have to be present/ must be something super duper deep/ realtalk, used to have me sittin up in the bed cryin till the A.M. and the sun came up/ barely draggin myself into the classrooms and the stores and the houses of where the root of my pain lied/using that time that wasn’t occupied by a response to a stare or a glance to get that 4.0/hurt so bad years ago/ bet he don’t even kno how much I cried, went bitter, cried some more then went numb/ promise Damaged was my theme song, if only it cacme out sooner/sick and tired of think man this gotta be it, shoulda woulda coulda, a has been that never was and all the above/feel like well, will my dream ever come true?/ stay in that confort zone of bein every dudes lil sis cuz its better than nuthin/ feel me when I say I feel it down to the core/ feel it so deep I be in the deep end knowin good and well I cant swim, not tryna even help myself/ go off in my little world wit my headphones, a instrumental and the paper and pen/ start flowin, just knowin that everything cant come out on the page/aint enough words to describe the pain/on some depressed kayne west keyshia cole type life/ when will I ever be iight?/ will I ever like a dude that wanna be my boo/ will that fairy tale love ever come true?/ cry my eyes out until theres no more tears, cuz judging by this situation, the future aint too clear/all I can do and stay focused, cuz the only way out is the way thru/

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